Some of My Favorite IEP Goals for The Skink

So after getting Iraq's IEP meeting out of the way just a week or so ago, it was already time for The Skink's IEP. We got her updated IEP a few days prior to the meeting so that we could go over it and highlight any questions or concerns we had.

Both my husband and I looked over the pages and pages and pages of goals, but aside from laughing our back-sides off over some of the goals, didn't feel any changes were necessary. I did start to wonder, though, if after writing IEP after IEP, the teachers lost track of how some of the goals sounded to the outside world. These are a few of my favorite goals:
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The Skink will increase cognitive skills through participation in activities that emphasize conceptual development, reasoning and academic skills, memory, and perceptual discrimination, achieving at least 80% accuracy on the following objectives by 3/8/2012.

Great! Not sure I caught all that, but it sounds... great...
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The Skink will listen to a simple story presented to the group without engaging in disruptive behavior, on five different occasions by November 2011.

Without disruptive behavior? They're taking all the fun out of story time! And 5 WHOLE TIMES in the next 8 months? I'm glad they're challenging my daughter so nicely!
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The Skink will name all the primary colors when asked, "What color is that?" with 80% accuracy by March 2012.

It's wonderful the school has faith she'll have recovered from color blindness by then!
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The Skink will maintain her balance on cafeteria seats without falling off due to distractability each day.

Oooops! Sorry, I didn't catch that one. I seem to have fallen off my chair.
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The Skink will carry her lunch tray with hand over hand adult assistance each day without milk on tray and without "fussing" by 10/14/2011.

Hmmm... I'm not sure I wouldn't fuss under those circumstances, too.
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The Skink will correctly respond the the question, "Are you a boy?" and "Are you a girl?" by December 2011.

Seems kind of sexist, doesn't it? I bet they don't worry about that "goal" with kids who happen to be hermaphrodites. (Yeah - Freud would have a ball with my response - LOL)
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The Skink will assert herself in socially acceptable ways (e.g., no screaming, asking for objects or declining objects) at least 80% of the time by March 2012.

Well... that one seems pretty straight forward. It also gives a lovely mental picture of what must be the current "norm."
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And yes, there were at least 673 more "goals" lined out in the pages, but I just felt these particular goals possessed a little something extra! Speaking of goals...

We're reaching some goals here at home! Like WALKING up and down the stairs, with at least 80% accuracy, without being disruptive, while wearing every color in the rainbow, looking feminine and without falling off her chair due to distractability! Yay!

Remember... goals are our friends, and as with our friends, we should feel free to laugh at them as needed!

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The Call of the IEP, The Grapes of Aspergers, Crime and Punishment and Other Great Classic Stories of Parenting...

Now if that title doesn't suggest a future best-seller, I don't know what does!

Yesterday the hubby and I went in to help author our family's second IEP. In case you're wondering, IEPs are not like potato chips. You CAN have just one... We just have this little tendency to defy the odds and all sense of logic - but I digress.

It goes without saying that if you have a child with Down syndrome, you will likely be called upon to peruse the pages of an IEP on a yearly basis. If you have a child with Down syndrome and another child with Aspergers, you will find yourself with stacks of papers amassing in the strangest of places, detailing every possible way the little fruits of your loins are NOT like the other children. Good times!

Admittedly I went into yesterday's meeting with a bit of a chip on my shoulder. You see, last year I requested testing for Iraq in the hopes of getting an IEP set up. Unfortunately not only had her teacher never heard of Aspergers, but the school psychologist and the specialist who performed the testing didn't think Iraq seemed "autistic." Why do we keep coming back to the old "but she makes eye contact" thing? They also decided that since she tested within the "average" range on all the academic scales, that it was not necessary for them to provide any extra help. Needless to say, I was frustrated!

We were thrilled when we learned of the opportunity to switch Iraq to the same elementary school that The Skink goes to, and even more pleased to learn Iraq's 2nd grade teacher has experience with children in the autism spectrum... and yes, she's heard of Aspergers... and she even recognizes the "Aspie" things that Iraq does and understands why she does them AND she employs techniques to keep Iraq on track! Thank goodness. Yet going into the IEP meeting, I was ready once again to be told that Iraq had tested within the "average" range academically, and be asked the question, "Well, what do you want us to do?"

Much to my relief and consternation, that is not what happened. Yes - Iraq did test within the average range academically, but they also recognized that Iraq has some unique "qualities" that require more specialized attention and guidance. Wow! School officials that understand that a kid can have an IQ within the normal-to-high range AND have special needs! Oh my! These people may have not only stepped OUT of their box, but re-assigned their box as a place to put out-dated material! Call Big Brother and warn him that someone is thinking!

I can't tell you how happy we were with the meeting! (Yes - it's top secret information!) No... Let me rephrase that. I mean I can't find adequate words to express the joy I feel over being understood and listened to, and from having Iraq be understood (at least to the degree that the school understood that Iraq needs someone to invest lots of time trying to understand Iraq and that Iraq is a person who may not ever be fully understood but that the very act of trying to understand Iraq will be beneficial to Iraq's understanding of the world and to her academic life... understand?).

Is it strange that I am happy about getting an IEP for my child?

Anyway, we are happy.

It also came up that Iraq's kleptomania (impulsive stealing) is still alive and well despite efforts from both home and school to exterminate that nasty little issue. We noticed that the school has a Sheriff's Office liaison - a police officer who spends a fair amount of time at the school. The next time Iraq steals something (which will likely be today) she will be arrested.

Yes. You read that right. Arrested.

Call it tough love, call it imposing permanent psychological trauma on our child, but because we have exhausted every other possible deterrent we could think of, we are going to try it. Think about it. The kid steals regularly at age 7. This does not bode well for her future... or ours as her bank account, bail bond providers parents.

On a completely separate subject (just because I like tangents and I'm dragging you along for the ride for my own personal entertainment) I am reading Thinking In Pictures by Temple Grandin. If you have a kiddo in the autism spectrum, read this book! If you ARE in the autism spectrum, read this book! Even if you are neuro-typical and don't know anyone at all in the autism spectrum, read this book! It is amazingly insightful and a very interesting read!

* I am not receiving compensation of any form for the promotion of this book. If you are the author, publisher or a reseller of this book and wish to compensate me for this glowing review, please contact me as soon as possible and I'll let you know where to send the check.

I have mentioned in prior blog posts that I myself have Aspergers. Reading Grandin's book has proved amazingly enlightening for me. I never realized neuro-typicals were so weird! (Just a little Aspie-humor thrown in there). The title for starters - well... I never realized that people could think without pictures. Yes - every last word in my vocabulary conjures an instant visual association. Suddenly a lot of puzzle pieces from my past are coming together, like why it took me longer than other kids to learn to read a clock with hands, count money, and why to this day I still don't spell well. Prior to having a visual concept of what "yesterday" is (I now visualize 3 days from a calendar appropriately labeled "yesterday," "today" and "tomorrow" in that order) it was nearly impossible for me to understand the concept of the word.

Well, I think there might be some legal copy write issues with my rewriting Grandin's book here in my blog just to share my excitement with you over it, so I'll stop there and just reiterate my opinion that you should read this book! And they even have it for Kindle (which is how I have the opportunity to read it... it's not like I would ever have the opportunity to venture into the grown-up section of an actual book store... at least not without 2 kids griping incessantly over being dragged into the "boring" section!).

So I'll leave you with that. And because I usually put tons of photographs in my blog which makes me feel like I'm depriving my cherished readers of visual stimuli in this particular post, I will now overload your senses in one fell swoop with this:

Feel better?
What do you mean "headache?" Oh... sorry.

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A Little of This and a Little of That

Yes - It's been a while since my last blog. An unfortunate case of almost-pneumonia and then a nasty reaction to the antibiotic prescribed for the almost-pneumonia laid me low for a bit, but thankfully I seem to be on the mend now.

The weather has been lovely the past few days - cool but with plenty of sunshine. Iraq had a swim lesson yesterday and did quite well. The Skink enjoyed playing at the on-site child care center during the lesson. Iraq likes to play in the pool following the lesson. It can be very difficult to get her OUT of the pool (especially if I am not in the pool with her) but I have learned that giving her ample and regular warnings about how much time she has left to play works wonders! I generally start with a 10 minute warning, then do a 5 minute, 3 minute and 1 minute warning. I was thrilled yesterday when she got right out without a complaint when her time was up.

All three kids got their report cards this last week. Though Broadway had started the grading period in high style, he finished with one A, a flock of C's and one F. It seems the problem arose when he went to spend Passover with his paternal grandparents. I had contacted each of his teachers a week prior to his departure to ask them to make sure Broadway had all the work he would be missing at school during his trip. He brought it all home, but somehow left his entire book bag in his room when he left for his grandparents house. Grrrr... That kind of thing is VERY common for kids with ADHD. In the same way, many times in the past he has completed all his homework only to forget to take it to school and turn it in. He's quite intelligent - he's just not organized and can be very "scattered."

Now we're making him write down all his homework assignments and have the teachers initial it each day. Keep your fingers crossed that we see his consistency levels rise :o)

Iraq got 3 A's and 3 B's. Not too shabby. As a reward, she got to pick where we went to dinner on Friday night. She chose IHOP - - a GREAT choice considering kids eat free at dinner time! What a smart kid!!

The Skink also brought home a report card. It was basically a great heap of papers bearing an uncanny resemblance to her IEP. Most of the listed skills were marked with "Satisfactory" marks, a few were marked as "Mastered" and 3 - 4 were labeled "Insufficient." "Insufficient" is like Fail, I suppose, but I have to laugh that someone would give a 3-year-old failing grades. Now let's see... She received "Insufficient" marks in the following skills:
- The Skink will match primary colors "red, blue, green, yellow" after sorting has been demonstrated by an adult, 3 out of 5 times by 3/15/2011.
- The Skink will walk throughout a crowded classroom with no more than 2 falls each day while maneuvering around objects in her path by 3/15/2011. (Really?? She's not allowed to fall more than 2ce a day... and someone is going to watch her for the purpose of counting her falls??)
AND... much to my artistic chagrin, she apparently "failed" in the "purposeful" scribbling with crayons department - LOL!

I'm really not worried... I'll bet by the time she goes to college she'll know how to draw with crayons and walk through a crowded room without falling.

In light of The Skink's grades, she got to accompany us to IHOP, where she asked for, "Bacon, pancake, egg!" She devoured her entire meal as did big sister Iraq. Broadway was not excluded from the dinner, of course... he ordered steak!

I should also mention that I haven't killed Iraq's garden yet. I have discovered that peas don't like a lot of direct sunlight or heat, so they are now residing on the shady front porch. Our strawberry plant has a flower, and we're growing some of our tomatoes upside-down just for the heck of it! To avoid pests (and hopefully the use of pesticides) we are growing a number of veggies in containers, but we did put the cantaloupe plants, lettuce plants and some of the great number of tomatoes that sprouted, in the ground.

Here are some pics of a few of the things we've had "growing on" lately.

Peas:

Strawberries:

Upside-down tomatoes:

So... we'll see what happens. I'm just hoping we get a few edible tomatoes and veggies for Iraq to feel proud of.

Have a great day!!

IEPs and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!

On Friday "The Skink," who attends a pre-K special ed class through our public school system, brought home a thick manila envelope. Oh yay! It's IEP time already.

Yes, the dreaded IEP. For those  of you who don't happen to have a child who requires one, an IEP is a gazillion-page book that outlines every last weakness and delay your child has, may have, or might someday develop. For every positive mile stone we special-needs moms celebrate with our children, the IEP can point out ten milestones our child has somehow side-stepped.

Of course these packets are a necessary evil. They line out to every last minute detail what the teachers need to drill our children on. One can almost imagine a WWII style German officer barking out commands to our little ones, all in the name of learning to scoop food onto a spoon. "Scoop! Now LIFT! Don't spill! Now eat! Repeat!"

Of course I'm rather certain my daughter's school does not employ retired WWII German officers, but I'm just saying...

Here are some of our current objectives:

"The Skink (nickname) will play purposefully with 3 new toys that are introduced on 3 out of 5 opportunities by 3/15/2011."
and
"The Skink will use a pincer grasp (thumb and index finger) to pick up 5 small objects/items off the table or floor with 3-4 verbal, visual, and/or tactile cues on 4 out of 5 opportunities by 9/26/2010.

Really?

And best yet, we get to go over all 2094 of these line items in a meeting with teachers, therapists and school officials next week! Can I just say, "whoopee?"

When you have a special needs child, you quickly come to discover that the Good Lord made that child just as perfect as can be in his or her own special, non-typical way. Instead of sitting around wishing that your beautiful child could somehow be different, we parents suddenly find our eyes are open to every small milestone... each tiny joy that we might have taken for granted with a "typical" child. Suddenly the sun shines just a little brighter, the breeze is just a little warmer, and each and every smile we get from our "special" kid seems to send angels off on a new choral adventure.

We learn to enjoy exactly what we have in our child... right up until we get that giant manila folder filled with seemingly thousands of line items specifying just how "disabled" our child is, with a note specifying we must read the ENTIRE thing very CAREFULLY.
Joy!

As I read through the line items discussing my daughter's hypotonia, over-pronation and wide-set walking gate, I paused for a moment. Wasn't it just a few months ago we were rejoicing that she had taken a few steps on her own? Well - at any rate, I'll be interested to see how the teachers proposed to teach her to walk "better."

When all is said and done, I'll be just as happy with my daughter and love her just as much no matter how many line items appear on her IEP. In the greater scheme of things, it doesn't matter. If the school system wants to sit down and discuss ever last nit-picky detail of my daughter's development, and label speech at one year behind and gross motor skills as a delay of 18 months, so be it. What ever works for them. All I know is that my 3-year-old loves school, and she loves me. Good nuff!