Socially... Antisocial

Iraq had her ballet performance last Saturday. Everything went beautifully... for the most part.

As the mother of a child with an autism spectrum issue (namely Aspergers) it is hard knowing that my high-functioning daughter will always have issues with social interaction. Knowing that she has Aspergers is a huge step in the right direction for me as a parent. It means I can more easily identify her weaknesses and do my part to teach her HOW to interact.

The problem comes in when little Iraq has little interest in learning HOW to interact because she just doesn't care. She doesn't care... until she has been completely alienated by her peers. Then she wonders why they won't play with her, or for that matter, even speak to her.

I have tried to explain social grace to her on occasions too numerous to count, but she doesn't think my reasoning is valid. It's much like trying to parent Spock from Star Trek. "I find your explanations lack reason and logic... "

How do you explain to an almost-7-year-old that her female peers often act based on emotion and not logic? Of course my own little Spock does not lack emotion in any sense... she is far too easily incensed if I do not allow her to act exactly as she pleases. And unfortunately, she often pleases to do some wildly strange and bizarre things (as far as I can see).

So here are some "social interaction" pictures I took backstage during the final dress rehearsal for the ballet...

Initially all is well when nobody is too close... but when the adorable little girl on her right leans in to the shot...

Hey! Too CLOSE!

That's better but you have ruffled my little, blue feathers!

I will now physically distance myself from you, and my prickly vibes will frighten the little girl on my left and she will leave...  quickly...

When I am alone, I can adhere this endearing smile to the frontal quadrant of my cranium...

For today, I am a bluebird...

And I do not require your presence in my territory!

But I will concede to playing with your toys... provided you do not touch me, look at me, or ask me why I like to line them all up in little rows after I have dressed them all in the same color...

And now I will take up as much room as possible so that you may not approach...

And I will use a frightening expression as I lunge outward to vanquish any thoughts you may have had about trespassing into the territory that I have marked...

I will now look unconcerned... so that you will know that I am superior...

I have completed my posturing at this time, and you may take my photograph.

What more can I say? The photographs are posted in the order in which they were taken. The performance went beautifully, but no photos could be taken during the actual show. Iraq played her part to a "T" and loved the applause. She did not suffer any jitters as her little peers did... I suppose it wouldn't have been logical seeing as how she is our superior and all.

AND... She's not afraid of lions or tigers or bears....      Oh, *sigh*

In other news, Iraq was able to pick her first piece of home-grown food - in the form of this delicious strawberry...

And it was superior to any strawberry you may have grown, I'm quite sure!    LOL!

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First Dress Rehearsal

Tonight was the first dress rehearsal for Iraq's ballet which will be on Saturday evening. I think we can all agree she looks the part :o)

A Little of This and a Little of That

Yes - It's been a while since my last blog. An unfortunate case of almost-pneumonia and then a nasty reaction to the antibiotic prescribed for the almost-pneumonia laid me low for a bit, but thankfully I seem to be on the mend now.

The weather has been lovely the past few days - cool but with plenty of sunshine. Iraq had a swim lesson yesterday and did quite well. The Skink enjoyed playing at the on-site child care center during the lesson. Iraq likes to play in the pool following the lesson. It can be very difficult to get her OUT of the pool (especially if I am not in the pool with her) but I have learned that giving her ample and regular warnings about how much time she has left to play works wonders! I generally start with a 10 minute warning, then do a 5 minute, 3 minute and 1 minute warning. I was thrilled yesterday when she got right out without a complaint when her time was up.

All three kids got their report cards this last week. Though Broadway had started the grading period in high style, he finished with one A, a flock of C's and one F. It seems the problem arose when he went to spend Passover with his paternal grandparents. I had contacted each of his teachers a week prior to his departure to ask them to make sure Broadway had all the work he would be missing at school during his trip. He brought it all home, but somehow left his entire book bag in his room when he left for his grandparents house. Grrrr... That kind of thing is VERY common for kids with ADHD. In the same way, many times in the past he has completed all his homework only to forget to take it to school and turn it in. He's quite intelligent - he's just not organized and can be very "scattered."

Now we're making him write down all his homework assignments and have the teachers initial it each day. Keep your fingers crossed that we see his consistency levels rise :o)

Iraq got 3 A's and 3 B's. Not too shabby. As a reward, she got to pick where we went to dinner on Friday night. She chose IHOP - - a GREAT choice considering kids eat free at dinner time! What a smart kid!!

The Skink also brought home a report card. It was basically a great heap of papers bearing an uncanny resemblance to her IEP. Most of the listed skills were marked with "Satisfactory" marks, a few were marked as "Mastered" and 3 - 4 were labeled "Insufficient." "Insufficient" is like Fail, I suppose, but I have to laugh that someone would give a 3-year-old failing grades. Now let's see... She received "Insufficient" marks in the following skills:
- The Skink will match primary colors "red, blue, green, yellow" after sorting has been demonstrated by an adult, 3 out of 5 times by 3/15/2011.
- The Skink will walk throughout a crowded classroom with no more than 2 falls each day while maneuvering around objects in her path by 3/15/2011. (Really?? She's not allowed to fall more than 2ce a day... and someone is going to watch her for the purpose of counting her falls??)
AND... much to my artistic chagrin, she apparently "failed" in the "purposeful" scribbling with crayons department - LOL!

I'm really not worried... I'll bet by the time she goes to college she'll know how to draw with crayons and walk through a crowded room without falling.

In light of The Skink's grades, she got to accompany us to IHOP, where she asked for, "Bacon, pancake, egg!" She devoured her entire meal as did big sister Iraq. Broadway was not excluded from the dinner, of course... he ordered steak!

I should also mention that I haven't killed Iraq's garden yet. I have discovered that peas don't like a lot of direct sunlight or heat, so they are now residing on the shady front porch. Our strawberry plant has a flower, and we're growing some of our tomatoes upside-down just for the heck of it! To avoid pests (and hopefully the use of pesticides) we are growing a number of veggies in containers, but we did put the cantaloupe plants, lettuce plants and some of the great number of tomatoes that sprouted, in the ground.

Here are some pics of a few of the things we've had "growing on" lately.

Peas:

Strawberries:

Upside-down tomatoes:

So... we'll see what happens. I'm just hoping we get a few edible tomatoes and veggies for Iraq to feel proud of.

Have a great day!!

My 3-Year-Old Has Lovely Cleavage

Siblings stand to learn a lot from each other... both good and not so good. This can present a special challenge when all three of your children have some unique behaviors to share with the family.

For instance, Broadway sometimes has issues with impulse control, predisposing him to making rather loud exclamations every now and again. Iraq, on the other hand, is given to frequent meltdowns, sending her off into a volley of noisy tears at the drop of the hat. And then there's The Skink... quietly watching and learning all the behaviors she sees.

In the past, I've caught her pacing back and forth with a toy phone to her ear, just as I do at times. She'll also share a book with her plush toys, just as her teacher does at school. Lately, however, there are some other behaviors she's been copying. Some that I'm not really thrilled about.

Though The Skink's language skills have been developing quite nicely over the last two years, lately instead of asking nicely for her cup, she will suddenly yell "CUP!" at the top of her voice. It reminds me very much of how Broadway sometimes exclaims "WOW!" in a loud voice in response to something funny on the television. When I admonish The Skink for yelling, she will hold her finger up to me (in the "wait a moment" pose) and lecture me in that same drill sergeant voice. Yes, it's true. I've been put on "finger hold" by a 3-year-old and given a piece of her mind!

So of course when I get that 15-year-old-type back talk from my generally sweet tot, I put her in time out. Time out is no easy task with any 3-year-old, let alone one with a few little challenges and a naturally stubborn nature. Time out means that as the jail-keeper, I have to stand right there with her and enforce the "sit right there" part of the time out.

On The Skink's especially stubborn days, I have had to resort to marching her up to her room and shutting her in it. She can't open the door by herself yet, so I win... sort of.

At this point, everything she has learned from living with Iraq comes into play. We are talking about a temper tantrum of terrorist proportions!! She has watched and learned well. She employs the "lay on the floor and kick your feet" method like an old pro, and her "fake-screech-cry at the top of your lungs" routine could win her a Tony Award. Then there's the "beat your little fists against the door while yelling at mom at about 3,000 decibels" thing that seems to make the whole house rattle.

When she goes into the "copy your sister's meltdown" mode, I generally walk away breathing deeply and telling myself that this stage won't last forever. And, generally within a few minutes, The Skink's room becomes quiet again and I'll creep up the stairs and quietly open the door to find her happily playing with some of her toys.

Ahhhh, motherhood!

I can also enjoy the irony in life. There was a time I struggled with infertility. It took over two years to create Broadway, and there is an 8 year and 2 husband lag between him and Iraq. In those looooooonnnnnggg 8 years I had regular talks with the Good Lord Above, and I told G-d that "I would do ANYTHING for another baby!"

I get the feeling He (or She) is holding me to that promise!

But along with every negative one can find about raising children, there are at least 1,000 positives. As a preemie, The Skink never got to breast feed. As much as she loved mommy, she developed a very close bond with a rather well-endowed nurse in the NICU. Since then, she has always been very drawn to breasts. I have the teeny-tiny type of itty-bitty titties which automatically makes my chest far less interesting than any woman with real BOOBIES! We're in the process of trying to teach her that there are certain appropriate ways to reach out and touch someone that don't include greeting a new friend with a free breast exam. But... her fascination continues.

This morning she was happily playing about the house (we didn't need a single time-out before the bus came) and she disappeared for short while in her toy closet in her room. After a few minutes she apparently found the two cloth bean-bag balls she was looking for and came down stairs looking like this:

Yes, that's my sweet little Skink with blue cleavage. Pretty good boob-job for a 3-year-old!
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