Our hurdle right now is Iraq's sense of entitlement. In a strange twist of "I think, therefore I am," Iraq sometimes behaves like a 3-year-old on steroids. "I want, therefore I deserve."
This becomes a devastating mix when it combines with the obsessive-compulsive part of her personality. The things that she wants or wants to do become obsessions. For instance, if she suddenly wants to "beep" my nose exactly 3 times, she may simply lunge forward and catch me completely unaware upon the first "beep." Then as I react (rather negatively) to being beeped, she seems shocked that I am not in a beep mood, and will continue on her quest to get in those last 2 beeps. If I fend off her beeps, she will go one of two ways - either she will become more aggressive about beeping me through my flailing arms, or she will go into "beg" mode.
Unfortunately, even if she goes into "aggressive beep attack" mode first, it will soon disintegrate into "beg" mode anyway if I refuse to accept my last 2 beeps.
Beg Mode - boy, that's a really fun one! We see beg mode a number of times every day. Beg mode sets in when Iraq realizes I am adamant about NOT letting her carry out what ever desire/compulsion she has it in her mind to do. As we fall into beg mode, high-pitched cries of "PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ" emanate from my petite 7-year-old. By high-pitched, I am referring to that tone between fingernails on a chalk board and the sound made by a saxophone in the hands of a very untalented first-time user.
No matter what response Iraq receives (and, by-the-way, that response has never been a "Yes") "PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ" will be immediately followed by "PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!" And then, "PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!"
It doesn't matter if I try to explain my decision not to let her beep my nose 2 more times, or if I simply give her a firm "NO!" No matter what I say, she will continue screeching "PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ" and then perhaps accuse me of interrupting her if I say anything at all.
It is nearly impossible to redirect Iraq out of beg mode. We can reason with her, be firm with her or even threaten her with bedroom-incarceration to no avail - only more "PLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZ!"
We don't know the reason for it, but it is like Iraq becomes temporarily stuck in beg mode. She has never once gotten her way like this, yet for whatever reason goes into beg mode almost every day, and usually more than once.
If we're in the car, we're screwed!
If we're in WalMart, we're entertainment.
If we're at home or at Mimi and Pop's house, Iraq is generally temporarily incarcerated with the option of early release for good behavior. Unfortunately it usually takes more than one 7-minute "time-out" (a.k.a. incarceration) before she calms down. At that point it a crap-shoot whether or not she'll ask for the thing she wants again.
Yesterday it was computer time. That's what set off beg mode. I had let her play on my computer for a while before homework time, and after she did (most of) her homework, she decided that my computer should be hers again. I would rather limit computer and TV time, and said no... and once I say no, I mean no...which cues beg mode to begin.
Needless to say, Iraq spent quite a bit of time in her room last evening - incarceration has become easier for me ever since Iraq broke her doorknob... she can't get out. The doorknob can be easily put beck together, but at this time the hubby and I rather like it the way it is.
The Skink watches all this, which makes me cringe. I know Skinks emulate the behaviors they see around them, and I certainly don't need 2 kids going into beg mode! So far, beg mode doesn't seem to appeal to The Skink. In fact, when Iraq does it, The Skink will put her hands over her ears and run away.
On another note, the insurance guy came out to assess the hubby's car. It's totaled. Yes - totally totaled! They'll be sending us a check to reimburse us for the value of the vehicle... a value of about $2,000...
Can someone please tell me where on this planet we are going to find a car as reliable as the totaled Toyota Camry was for $2,000? I think there's a bigger chance of my husband riding a flying pig to work.
I do have to share a few neat and fun things, though. Sure - there are challenges in life, but there is a lot of good stuff too!
Broadway found out that he ranked 6th in his ROTC summer camp, and first for his school! I love seeing him so proud of his achievement. His pride is working for him and he is striving to keep his grades up so he can continue with all his ROTC activities. And activities there are! He stays after school no less than 5 days a week for a variety of cool activities, and after doing so well in ROTC camp, he received a special invitation to become a part of the ROTC Exhibition Team! (And I think secretly he enjoys his after-school escape so he doesn't have to listen to beg mode.)
The Skink has been wearing her glasses for longer periods at school. She's also really blossoming in the communication and social interaction departments. Unlike Iraq, The Skink is naturally very empathetic. She picks up on the moods and feelings of people around her. Just this morning I had her seated on her changing table so I could put her socks and shoes on. She grabbed a sock and tossed it across the room, saying, "There it goooooooooooes!" I looked up at her and said, "I wish you wouldn't throw your socks when I'm trying to put them on your feet." She touched my face, looked into my eyes and said, "I sorry! Hug?" Oh, YES, hug! It doesn't get much better than that!
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Wow. I'm glad The Skink provides a nice balance to Iraq's begging!!!
ReplyDeleteRegarding the car, do you have/know a reputable body shop guy who would agree that the car is totaled? We have a 2001 Toyota Echo that met up with a deer in the spring. We have a body shop guy who knew it could be fixed, but because of the mileage (nearing 300,000 back then), the adjuster refused the quote, claimed it was totaled, and prepared to just write a check (like yours - dinky).
We pitched a slight fit (maybe not quite like Iraq's!) and told him we needed THAT car because we knew the background and because the fuel economy is great for my husband's 120 mile/day commute to work. Long story short, the body shop guy and adjuster agreed that if we used USED parts, the insurance would pay. We knew that would work fine, so everyone was happy.
We already knew that the insurance companies tend to be quick to consider cars totaled even when they aren't.
Of course, it took TWO months for the turtle body shop guy to get the car fixed, and a week later, our son hit a deer. In the same car. The fur is still stuck in the headlight, which we're STILL waiting on and now really need it replaced for the inspection... due this month.
Good luck with everything!!!
'Lucy'
Lucy - the car is a 1997 Toyota Camry with prior body damage, and it is likely that fixing it would cost more than what the insurance company is giving us. The frame is likely bent, and the main support-thingy under the passenger-side quarter panel (that holds the hood up) is mangled. The accident even did damage to the parts under the hood so there is a possibility the engine may be damaged too.
ReplyDeleteIt's frustrating, but we'll muddle through somehow. I'll let my husband know, though, and we'll talk to our next-door neighbor who is a mechanic to see what he thinks. If it could be made drivable for that price, we'll go that rout!